Dear Lithuania
by BadLiterature
Summary: After the fall of the Soviet Union, Poland writes a letter to his dearest friend Liet. Of course, knowing Poland, that works out exceptionally. Please R/R! Take it as you will.


_Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia, the characters of aforementioned series, or any of Poland or Lithuania. These fictionalizations bear no resemblance to the real nations of Poland and Lithuania, so please don't get, like, totally offended and stuff. For the ponies. - S_

* * *

_Dear Lithuania,_

_Like..._

_Isn't it, like, time you moved out anyway?_

_So it's not like I'm going to cry that you're leaving me by your own doing this time._

_It's not like it bothers me that you're off to bigger things._

_I helped you out when you needed me, and now you don't need me anymore._

_It's only natural that you go._

_But…_

_Now whose face am I going to laugh at?_

_Who can I bully and tease and push around now?_

_It totally isn't fair._

_Like, what did I do that pushed you away?_

_Was it the ponies?_

_Is it 'cause they're totally cuter than you, Liet?_

_Don't be jealous of their cuteness, Liet._

_It's childish to run from their adorableness._

_So come home._

_I'm not getting rid of them though, because you're being immature._

_With Love,_

_Poland._

_P.S. If you don't come back and I find out you ran off with a stranger I will totally never talk to you again. Seriously._

* * *

Lithuania stared at the piece of paper in disbelief. He could hardly comprehend what an idiot his best friend was. He sighed ruefully, but ended up chuckling.

Of course he wasn't going back.

After the collapse of the Soviet Union, Lithuania was officially free… and strong enough to take care of himself. Poland knew that.

But it was fun pretending that he still had the option.

He picked up a thin black pen and scratched the paper to see if it had ink. Retrieving a blank piece, he began his response to the person in question, still not quite sure exactly what he should say.

* * *

_Dear Poland,_

_Yes. _

_It's all because of your ponies._

_Can't you laugh at their faces instead of mine?_

_You're always so cruel to me._

_And who said anything about crying? _

_You miss me, don't you?_

_Oh also, the real reason I'm not coming back home is because I'm my own country now._

_I kind of have to learn to be independent._

_If I keep relying on you, then I'll just be Poland with another name._

_And you understand why I can't just do that, yeah?_

_So stop missing me and go get a job or a girlfriend or something._

_Your friend,_

_Lithuania_

_P.S. Please don't take that last line offensively! I take it back!_

* * *

_Dear Liet,_

_You now have zero best friend points. _

_With Love, _

_Poland_

* * *

_Dear Poland, _

_EH? _

_Your friend, Lithuania_

* * *

_Dear Liet, _

_Yup. Now Switzerland is my new best friend. _

_With love, Poland_

* * *

_Dear Poland, _

_What? Switzerland can't possibly be your best friend! He's too neutral towards everyone! The only person he's favorable towards is Liechtenstein! Don't include others in this to make up for the fact that you have no friends besides Italy and me! Why am I not your best friend anymore anyway? _

_Your friend, maybe, _

_Lithuania_

* * *

_Dear Liet, _

_If you keep protesting, I'll, like, enforce Poland Rule and your capital will become Warsaw._

_With Love,_

_Poland_

* * *

_Dear Poland,_

_You are the one who wrote me a letter and told me to come back, but now you're going to make my capital Warsaw anyway?_

_You're truly awful!_

_What's with the cheap trick rules anyway?_

_Hmph._

_Liet_

* * *

_Dear Liet,_

_Stop whining._

_You'll be fine._

_I'm coming over tomorrow to help you build your own house, kay? _

_I don't, like, think that it would like, be easy to build your house right after breaking up with Russia or whatever. _

_Do widzenia,_

_Poland_

_P.S. The ponies will, like, totally miss you, no matter what I said._

_And come visit sometimes for the ponies._

_Like, they're totally lonely without you!_

* * *

_La fin_

* * *

_A/N:_

_Bon matin, mes amis._

I was bored and wanted to have a little fun on the part of Poland. I always got Poland, better than all the countries/characters. The relationship between him and Liet is just like my relationships with my friends!

Of course, you know. Without all of the yaoi pairing stuff.

[And yes. I know. I'm lazy. Where's the next chapter of Forevermore I promised a month ago? I have no excuses… sigh.]

Perhaps I'll do more Axis Powers, but most likely not because I fail to see the characters as more than stereotypical, dysfunctional personalities commonly attributed to their country. And it's absolutely hilarious. :] I'm just saying I have no inclination to believe in a pairing, (besides Italy/Germany kind of) or to think Prussia is awesome. Seriously. But this is getting to be just as long, if not longer than the fic!

Pay no mind to my rambling and check out my other stuff! Ciao!

-Sam

/EDIT: WOOT FF for screwing up the formatting. Had to make it readable again.


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